Becoming Un-stuck

 

Change can feel daunting and overwhelming. That’s why, many times, we stay where we are. But if nothing changes, nothing will change… read that again…

 

 

Picture this... You wake up at the same time every morning, and when your feet hit the floor, they automatically step into your slippers without searching for them… they just know. You walk to the kettle with your eyes barely open and manage to make yourself your usual cuppa joe. You drag yourself through the shower and throw on your work clothes. You get into your car and take the same route to the same job you’ve had for years… you go through your day on autopilot. You get home, faint on the couch, binge watch a series and fall asleep… only to repeat the same procedure the next day. But there's always that niggly little feeling that there is more to life than this.

Slowly, your emotions and self-talk enter the room… guilt, feelings of uselessness, pressure to do more, to do better, to be better… you tell or ask yourself: ‘You’re lazy’, ‘Why are you settling?’ ‘That teacher in school was right – I have amounted to nothing… a shadow…’ ‘you should be doing more…’ more of what? It’s exhausting!

But we stay where we are, not because it's comfortable, but because it's familiar. And familiarity, even when painful, can feel safer than change. And if you don’t recognise the pattern, it’s very difficult to get un-stuck. You remain a hostage of your own thoughts. It’s a place where there’s no movement… a safe place… your comfort zone.

Now here’s the truth; moving out of your Comfort Zone is uncomfortable, scary and takes effort, but that place is stifling and keeps us in a state of negativity. This loop of negative self-talk becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. It’s a neurological process where you strengthen your synapses’ connections, whether the thoughts are negative or positive. These connections grow stronger based on your thought process. Imagine taking a shortcut through a park every day. The grass wills start to die and become a visible path. The same happens in our brain. The more you do something, the easier it becomes, because you are strengthening that neural pathway. Repetition = the foundation on which you are building your house.

The good news is that being stuck isn't a character flaw. It's often the result of habits and thought patterns that have been strengthened over years – and what has been learned, can also be unlearned.

So how do you become un-stuck?

It starts with a decision. But… every decision must be followed by action.

Don’t start big. Take it one step at a time. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering.

Start with something that won’t feel overwhelming – like taking a different route to work every day.

Change things up a little, until it becomes comfortable.

Catch yourself mid-sentence of a negative thought and consciously flip the script.

Start a gratitude journal – even if you only write one thing that you’re grateful for. Maybe it’s that you’re grateful for your couch that catches you when you collapse into it at the end of the day. Perhaps the traffic was lighter than the previous day, or you got more green robots than red…

Be kind with yourself. If you miss a day of writing in your journal, don’t beat yourself up. You’ll try again tomorrow.

Start moving. Movement = awareness. Awareness of your breathing, heartbeat, surroundings. Even if the only thing that you manage to do, is to roll out your yoga mat, or put your walking shoes on… you at least started with the action towards movement. In my book, that's already a win.

Wash, rinse, repeat. You create new habits through repetition.

Be patient and don’t judge yourself. It took you years to create that cycle of thinking; it won’t reverse itself overnight. Change takes time.

Expect obstacles and setbacks – but don’t let your setbacks set you back. Look at the progress you’ve made and re-focus on your end goal.

And then... celebrate the small wins. Don't simply tell yourself, ‘Well done, I managed to challenge one negative thought today.’ Pause and acknowledge the victory.

Celebration doesn't have to cost a cent. It might be a long bath, a phone call to a friend who will cheer you on, a walk in nature, or perhaps some flowers that you picked along the way.

Every small step deserves to be noticed, because great change is simply a collection of tiny victories.

Remember: ‘It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.’ ~ Confucius ~

You’ve got this!

Your Coach, Michèle